I find it highly interesting how the 55 miles between Omaha and Lincoln may as well be the Grand Canyon. The people of Lincoln seem to have a definite aversion to the people of Omaha. Really, it's no wonder. The people from each city are top to bottom different from each other. When I go back to Omaha, specifically back to my old part of town, South Omaha, it astonishes me how people are much more polite and friendly than in Lincoln. People in Omaha seem to have been taught something that is quickly fading from humanity in general, including Stinkin' Lincoln. Yes, it's the long lost art of manners. Perhaps you have heard of them. However, just in case the term has no meaning to you, let me explain. You see, when another human being does a nice thing like hold open a door for you, what you are supposed to say is, "Thank you." Or maybe you bump into someone, at this point you are supposed to say, "Excuse me," or maybe, "I'm sorry." These expressions seem to be missing from the Lincolnite lexicon.
This brings us to the whole reason why I decided to blog tonight. I had a run in earlier today with a self absorbed, rude, tactless jerk. Am I being melodramatic? You be the judge:
As I was heading to work, I left with just enough extra time to run an errand. I had some packages that I needed to get shipped, so I headed to the UPS Store. I pulled up to the little strip mall that the store inhabits and noticed that I had my pick of a few parking spots right in front of the store. After parking, I gather my packages together and head into the store. I had them all prepaid for, so it was a very quick transaction. Upon finishing, I headed for the exit and as I opened the door, a gentleman (I use the term loosely) coming in got to the door at about the same time. I stepped aside and let him come in. I didn't even think about it at the time, but I didn't get any sort of acknowledgement for the gesture. No "thanks", no "excuse me", not even a head nod. What made me think of this later on, was what happened next.
I step towards my car I noticed that someone had parked their truck directly behind me and boxed me in. The baffling part was when I looked over to the empty parking stall two stalls down. I examined the truck and tried to think if any of my friends drive a 2005-ish Mazda pickup, because the most logical reason for parking behind someone when there is an open spot just a few feet away is that it has to be some kind of joke. But, I was sure none of my friends drove a truck like this. So, I looked around at the potential places the owner could be. I came to the conclusion that it must be the fella that was going into the UPS Store as I was leaving.
Then I thought, maybe I could just wait it out until he is done. But that's when I looked at my watch and saw I was running a little late now. So I walk with a purpose back into the UPS Store and see the suspect standing at the counter speaking with the customer service representative. I approach the suspect and ask him if that is his truck out there parked behind me. He looks over at me, clearly annoyed that I have interrupted his conversation and says, "Yeah, I'll be there in a minute." In return, I say, "Well, I am late for work, if you could move it now I would appreciate it." He looks at me again, this time even more annoyed and fires back, "I said, I will be there in a minute. I am almost done." It's at this point when I hear this voice that sounds exactly like mine say, "Oh, okay...jerk."
When I realized it was indeed my voice that uttered those words, I headed for the exit. Once I got outside and was waiting for the nice man to come move his truck, I reassessed what had happened, and came to the conclusion that I was spot on with my remark (Usually though, it's best to keep such realizations to ones self. That being said, from this point on, the man parked behind me will be referred to simply as "Jerk"). As I saw Jerk exit the store, I opened up my car door and started to get in. That's when Jerk unloaded on me. "YOU CALL ME A JERK, MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOOK IN THE MIRROR! IF YOU WOULD HAVE JUST LET ME FINISH UP IN THERE INSTEAD OF INTERRUPTING ME, I COULD HAVE GOTTEN DONE FASTER! I WASN'T HURTING YOU BY PARKING HERE."
After being about halfway into my car, I pulled myself back out of the car, took a few steps towards Jerk and said, "Look, is there a reason you couldn't have parked in that spot right there!? (Pointing at empty stall.) You are a thoughtless jerk." The only satisfaction I got out of the whole incident was when I noticed after I got out of the car and took a few steps towards him, his expression changed, his tone changed, and he was trying to get those keys to work as fast as Lane Myer when he was being chased by the paperboy who wanted his $2. I think I scared the Jerk. Which is quite empowering when you are only a 5' 6" guy with a Napoleon Complex.
As I turned back to get into my car, I hear him say, "No, you're the jerk!", as he is shutting the door of his truck. I look back at him, and now that he is safe and secure in his truck with all the windows up and doors shut, he goes on a rant of epic proportions. Most of which I can't repeat because of the fact that this is a family blog.
Now, going back and analyzing the situation, we saw that he never once said he was sorry. Of course, I might have played a very small part in not hearing the apology. But, had it been me, I would have been apologizing all over the place if someone told me I was blocking them in. Then, somehow, after his ridiculous behavior, I turn out to be the jerk (Which by reading my blogs, you have to agree with the guy to a certain degree).
This is just one example of the lack of manners and selfish behavior that goes on in this fine city of Stinkin' Lincoln. It's things like this that continue to add to my disdain for this place. But hey, without these antics it just wouldn't be Stinkin' Lincoln.
