What makes Stinkin' Lincoln Stinkin' Lincoln?

These guys get me!

I am sure there are people out there that wonder why I am not exactly in love with living in Stinkin' Lincoln.  After all, it's a relatively nice place.  It's clean, there's a fairly low crime rate, you don't have to travel far to the Husker games and there is approximately one bar per capita along O Street alone.  So why the disdain for the state capital?  There are things that annoy me about this town, such as the traffic, the difference in the people, the Omaha haters and things like that, but those aren't great reasons to hate this place.  Really, I think when it boils right down to it, it's mostly the fact that it's not truly my home.  Omaha has always been and will always be home.  It's not because Omaha is such an awesome place that everything pales in comparison.  In all actuality it's the people.  It's my family and friends that I have been associated with for years and some for decades.  They are all people that understand me.

Here in Stinkin' Lincoln, I am a bit of an enigma.  Sometimes I will crack a joke and people won't even understand that I am joking, or I will make a statement and people will think I am joking.  Sometimes I will be very serious about a conversation or a task I am involved in and people will think I am cold and a bit of a jerk.  Or because I was at a meeting or something with someone and if I don't go seek that person out to glad hand with them before or after the meeting that person thinks I don't like them.  Or because I didn't answer my cell phone when they call, they think I am avoiding them.

I will say, I probably am a tough person to figure out.  For some reason though, in Omaha, people that have known me since I was knee high to a grasshopper, they get me. I can just be me and I don't have to be on guard all the time so I make sure I don't hurt someone's feelings or make them think I don't like them.  There really is nothing quite as wonderful as being able to just be ones self. 

It always amazes me how I will occasionally run into someone I knew before I left Omaha and we will have a conversation just like we had just seen each other the day before rather than there being 16 years in between our last conversation. 

I was reading a web article entitled, "The Top 5 Regrets People Have on Their Deathbed", and number 4 was, "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."  The great thing about the people I know from Omaha is that they make it very easy to stay in touch.  It's a rare occasion that someone you knew years ago treats you coldly or like you mean nothing to them now.  I am sure this is not exclusive to Omaha, but it's where I get to experience it, so it makes it special for me.  Therefore, wishing I had stayed in touch with my friends will most likely not be something I am regretting on my deathbed.  However, it's still fairly early in life.  I could still screw it up. 

After all things have been considered, I hope that Stinkin' Lincolnites will understand I don't really hate their beloved city.  I may poke fun at it from time to time, but I am sure that the Lincoln city planners really aren't Larry, Curly and Moe.  Really, it's just the fact that my real home is 55 miles to the Northeast. 

The Jerk Store Called...

It could be worse.  I could be this guy. 

I have come to a realization.  I am a jerk, and really, that is putting it rather mildly. I am holding back from using some words that probably describe me in a very succinct way.  However, I will spare you the vulgarity that would otherwise be used.

Actually, my being a jerk is really something I have known for years, if not my whole life.  But I figured at some point I would grow out of it, or perhaps people would just accept it as part of my unique personality.  Although, people should never have to "accept" a person for being a jerk.  I would never ask anyone to do that.  At any rate, it appears I won't be growing out of it.  In fact I have reached an age where certain traits are ingrained and will probably never be extracted from my personality, be that for the good or bad.

You may be asking, why on earth would I decide to tell this to my meager fan-base?  To be honest, I have had writers block lately and could not really think of anything else to write about.  However, I feel it is worth writing about because I want the world to know that I recognize my foremost shortcoming.  I want you to know why I am this way.  The truth is, I really do not know why, so this will be an exploration into my psyche for us all.  Sometimes I can just start writing and next thing we know I am deep into the hell that is my mind.  At this moment, I feel we may already be about three fathoms into this deep, dark place, so I hope you brought a light, because I am almost positive we will not be able to see our hand in front of our face in here.

Why am I this way?  I had a good childhood.  I was an only child, but I had a couple of families my parents were friends with that had a group of brothers that I felt were almost as close as brothers could have ever been.  We played football, baseball, basketball and any other kind of ball we could find.  Sometimes we did not even have a ball.  We just used up a balled up wad of tape.  Our parents did not like us to play with guns, so we made our own out of Legos.  We played hide and seek at night in golf courses, cemeteries, corn fields, and throughout entire city blocks.  Then as I got older I made many friends and had about as much fun in life as I probably could have and definitely more than I should have. 

My parents took very good care of me physically and materially.   I had a great relationship with my grandfather on my dad's side and loved the other three grandparents, even if they had their quirks.  I got to see Star Wars, E.T. and Raiders of the Lost Arc.  I had a "girlfriend" in kindergarten for crying out loud.  (Then there was a long 11 year drought in the girlfriend department. Throughout that time I hoped I hadn't peaked at 6 years old.)

That was the positive, now on to the negative I had in my life.  I hated school with a passion.  I was treated like crap for being a porky, short and awkward adolescent.  Fatboy, Butterball, and Fat Ass were some of my nicknames throughout Junior High and my Freshman and Sophomore years.  That all ended when I showed up Junior year having grown out of most of the baby fat. 

Additionally, I hardly ever tried in school.  Almost every teacher I ever had said I had a great deal of potential if I would just try.  I had a counselor tell me once that the reason I was the way I was in school was because I found school boring because it did not challenge me (and then he sent me back to my same old boring class.  Good job Mr. Counselor.).  I would agree with what the counselor said in some ways, but man do I hate math and I do not think that has anything to do with me being bored with it.  I was always a rockstar when it came to English courses.  When I was in 4th grade I tested at a college level in English.  Even so, pretty much this is the way every semester went in school: 1st Quarter D average, 2nd Quarter C average, 3rd Quarter F average, 4th Quarter C- average.  I actually almost flunked English my senior year which would have meant summer school, so I went from an F- average in 3rd quarter to a D+.  I am the quintessential under-achiever.

Then there was a period of time in my life where I felt like everyone I knew was going away in one way or another.  Guys I grew up with choosing to run off with worthless girls...or in one case another guy.  Pretty much every girl I ever dated wound up in trouble in some way or another.  My first "love" dumped me like last weeks garbage.  Then I was so hung up on her I probably was blind to other opportunities that were right in front of me.

However, most of my friends that got drug off by girls came back (Can't say the same for the guy that went off with the other guy).   I ended up marrying a wonderful person and great friend.  I ran a successful business for 15 years.   So why the heck am I such a jerk?

Sure there were a few things like school, verbal abuse, and anxiety that I dealt with when I was younger.  I had my beliefs about friends being inseparable shattered to a million pieces.  I had my heart stepped on by a girl and then I was too protective of it.  After 15 years of running that successful business I had to drop our biggest account because they no longer felt like treating us as a business partner but rather they treated us like poop on a shoe.

Really though, these are not the reasons I am a jerk.  Partly it comes down to genetics.  From what I understand my great grand father was a boozing, womanizing, physically abusive man.  As a result my grandmother is not the worlds nicest person.  On top of that, there are some people I am related to that are Coo-Coo for Coco Puffs and that goes back a couple generations.  Hence, you can see that I have all kinds of things going against me in the genetics department. 

Another, I think obvious cause to me being a jerk, is me being an only child.  I am used to getting my way, I think I am right all the time, and I think there should always be a just way to handle things.  Therefore, if I don't get my way, you prove me wrong, or there is a perceived injustice, I will most likely deal with you in a harsh, bombastic way.

Most of all though, I am a jerk because I am stuck in stinkin' Lincoln. I have been trying to get out of this place for 15 years, and hear I sit.

With all of these things in mind, let me say I am making no excuses.  I would love nothing more than being the chipper, always bright eyed and bushy tailed guy that you cut off in traffic and he just waves and says he's sorry for being in your way.  Instead I am the guy that after being cut off might reach for his bottle of water and think very seriously about chucking it at the offender. (99.9999999% of the time I stop myself.)  I wish I was the guy that could just be content with everything that life bestows upon him.  Instead I am the guy that looks at his situation and thinks, "Why didn't I take that left turn instead of a right? Maybe things would have worked out better that way."

All I can say is, thank goodness for pharmaceuticals!  You should thank goodness too.  Otherwise you could be driving along and unknowingly cut someone off and then moments later feel the sting of a half empty water bottle striking the side of your head. 

Facebook, the Proverbial Can-O-Worms

I am here today to talk to you about one of the dangers of Facebook. I am not going to say it's from the devil or anything like that, that for you to decide. I am no judge. But one of the pitfalls I find in Facebook is that horrible moment when you get a friend request from someone that you have major reservations about granting that friend request. The requesting "friend" comes in many forms. You have the guy/gal from school that you either don't remember or didn't like, the relative that you don't even know, the stalker from work that decided that you and he are BFF's, and of course the person that you just plain don't like, but they are unaware of this fact.

The dilemma with all of these "friends" is what to do once you get that friend request. For some, like the guy/gal from high school that you don't remember, it's easy to click that deny button. But, your third cousin on your dad's side that you met once when you were 14 and he was 8, and haven't seen since, this is a predicament. Let's say you deny this request, what happens when dad or grandma hears you dissed your own family? But then if you accept the request, what if the "cousin" turns out to be a psychopath and befriends one of your friends and then eats them with some fava beans and a nice Chianti? Yes, this is an extreme case, but I don't know this fictitious cousin from Adam. Really, isn't it just as dangerous to "friend" a cousin you don't know as it would be to "friend" a random person you find on Facebook?

Then what about the person you know but don't like that asks to be your "friend"? I have worked hard to keep the peace and not let on that I can't stand this person. On one hand I could just "friend" this person just to continue to keep the peace. But, I really don't want this obnoxious person saying something stupid on my Facebook page. Plus, I don't want him to access to my thoughts. But if I don't accept his request, he will know that I don't think that much of him. I suppose it would be wise to find some sort of middle ground. But what could that be? Oh, I got it, how about I don't accept the "friend" request, BUT, I also don't deny it. Just leave it in limbo. But, what happens when I see this person and they say, "Hey, did you see my "friend" request on Facebook?" Then what!? Maybe this is one of the reasons why I should consider not getting involved with a "Social Networking" site. It is a slippery slope, a can proverbial can-o-worms. But, hey, do what you want, I'm no judge...sinner.