Empowered by Anonymity

Let's talk a little bit about a word I can't say three times fast, but if called upon, could type three times fast.  The word I am referring to is, "anonymity".

People these days seem to bask in the ability to be anonymous.  I mean, let's face it, we are all a little bit more comfortable to do things that we would not normally do if we can do it from a place of concealment (I point to me and my blog).

Think about some of the things that we have the opportunity to do in relative anonymity.  In this technological age we live in, there are any number of things we can do in anonymity.  After all, most of the technology we use was designed by some guy living in his mothers basement and when they come out, they are socially awkward to the Nth degree. Therefore they needed something that would help them interact with people, but not actually interact with them.  Yes, because of these geeks, we are able to get on message boards and make comments on other people's posts by berating, making fun of, or agreeing with them and do so in obscure privacy.  We can go to blogs and comment on the articles that have been written or comment on others comments and do so anonymously.  In some cases we have to have a screen name to be able to comment, but on others, we can comment completely anonymously.  Really though, unless we know the person on the other end of "Sam I Am", anything that person posts under that screen name is done in obscure privacy. 

Another part of technology today is text messaging.  Of course we usually know who is texting us, however, it still gives us a measure of anonymity.  How so?  Well, when I was a little kid, and my parents would ask me what I thought was an embarrassing question, I would put a blanket over my head and answer the question.  If they could not see me, somehow it was easier to tell them that I had a crush on 15 year old girl when I was just 7 years old.  Almost certainly, it can be said that when we text message someone and tell them something we normally would not be able to say to them face to face, it's like we have pulled that blanket over our head so we can let them know what we could not bring ourselves to tell them face to face. 

Really, even while driving we are somewhat anonymous.  Of course others can see us, but after we cut someone off, or after they cut us off, we can, from the safety of our cars, yell at the other driver, or even get into a conversation with them using our limited knowledge of sign language. 

Yes, the ability to make ones self anonymous is empowering for some.  But really, what is anonymity in the sense we are talking about?  Cowardice, spinelessness, and gutlessness.  It's funny to me, in a sick and twisted way, that if we were in a grocery store, we would never start heading to the checkouts and break into a sprint with our cart full of groceries in order to beat the little old lady in front of us to the open checkout lane.  Why not?  Because for one, it is socially unacceptable to do so.  If we did that, everyone around us would be looking at us like we were a jerk, and rightly so.  There is also the possibility of the little old lady's body building grandson observing from a distance what we have done and him coming over to twist our head like a pepper mill.  Yet, you put that same little old lady and her freakishly large grandson in a Honda Civic and they are fair game.

I bring all of this up because over the past couple years I have had a few nasty comments left on a few different posts.  What makes me laugh is when these people leave there comments they don't even have the huevos to leave their name, it simply says, "Anonymous".  As I am typing this, I have a grin on my face because of the fact that the anonymity that they desire, really just makes them a coward of the highest order, and nobody respects anything they have taken the time and energy to type.  The latest comment left was obviously left by someone I know.  They said that my family name is "synonymous with 'chip on their shoulders'" and then proceeded to insult my grandparents.  Well, whoever you are, I would be happy to sit down and talk with you about whatever it is that my family or I did to you to make you such a bitter, gutless, twit.  However, I am sure you enjoy the anonymous darkness in which you dwell.  Much safer there, isn't it.

The moral of the story is, we should all be careful with the empowering anonymity that comes with the world we live in.  Even I have learned a lesson or two while writing this blog.  That being the case, I try hard to not hurt any one's feelings, because when you hurt feelings, you just end up in their living room trying to explain that most of what I say is very tongue in cheek or should not be taken too seriously.  However, like a very brilliant friend of mine has said on occasion, "Some people don't even know they have feelings until you hurt them."  Therefore, I like to think I am doing a public service and helping people get in touch with their feelings.  With that I offer you a wholehearted, "You are welcome!". 

What makes Stinkin' Lincoln Stinkin' Lincoln?

These guys get me!

I am sure there are people out there that wonder why I am not exactly in love with living in Stinkin' Lincoln.  After all, it's a relatively nice place.  It's clean, there's a fairly low crime rate, you don't have to travel far to the Husker games and there is approximately one bar per capita along O Street alone.  So why the disdain for the state capital?  There are things that annoy me about this town, such as the traffic, the difference in the people, the Omaha haters and things like that, but those aren't great reasons to hate this place.  Really, I think when it boils right down to it, it's mostly the fact that it's not truly my home.  Omaha has always been and will always be home.  It's not because Omaha is such an awesome place that everything pales in comparison.  In all actuality it's the people.  It's my family and friends that I have been associated with for years and some for decades.  They are all people that understand me.

Here in Stinkin' Lincoln, I am a bit of an enigma.  Sometimes I will crack a joke and people won't even understand that I am joking, or I will make a statement and people will think I am joking.  Sometimes I will be very serious about a conversation or a task I am involved in and people will think I am cold and a bit of a jerk.  Or because I was at a meeting or something with someone and if I don't go seek that person out to glad hand with them before or after the meeting that person thinks I don't like them.  Or because I didn't answer my cell phone when they call, they think I am avoiding them.

I will say, I probably am a tough person to figure out.  For some reason though, in Omaha, people that have known me since I was knee high to a grasshopper, they get me. I can just be me and I don't have to be on guard all the time so I make sure I don't hurt someone's feelings or make them think I don't like them.  There really is nothing quite as wonderful as being able to just be ones self. 

It always amazes me how I will occasionally run into someone I knew before I left Omaha and we will have a conversation just like we had just seen each other the day before rather than there being 16 years in between our last conversation. 

I was reading a web article entitled, "The Top 5 Regrets People Have on Their Deathbed", and number 4 was, "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."  The great thing about the people I know from Omaha is that they make it very easy to stay in touch.  It's a rare occasion that someone you knew years ago treats you coldly or like you mean nothing to them now.  I am sure this is not exclusive to Omaha, but it's where I get to experience it, so it makes it special for me.  Therefore, wishing I had stayed in touch with my friends will most likely not be something I am regretting on my deathbed.  However, it's still fairly early in life.  I could still screw it up. 

After all things have been considered, I hope that Stinkin' Lincolnites will understand I don't really hate their beloved city.  I may poke fun at it from time to time, but I am sure that the Lincoln city planners really aren't Larry, Curly and Moe.  Really, it's just the fact that my real home is 55 miles to the Northeast. 

Lincoln Traffic: I-80 East Edition

Excuse me sir, do you have any Grey Poupon?

It's been quite some time since I have touched on the wonderfully entertaining subject that is Lincoln Traffic.  I think I have stretched things a bit in this edition, but I think you will agree with me that it should still be considered part of Lincoln's traffic Gordian Knot (Google it).

In the recent past, I had to drive to Omaha about once a week for work.  The way things are now (long story which can be read two blogs ago), I only make the trek to Omaha about every three week or so.  Regardless, there has remained one constant.  The Stinkin' Lincoln inhabitants making their way to Omaha on I-80 are dangerous!  Seriously, it's amazing people don't die daily on I-80 between Lincoln and Omaha in the East bound lane.  Now, let me paint the picture for you so you can understand where I am coming from.

First of all, you get on the interstate at the Waverly entrance where it is currently under construction but is still two lanes heading East and there are concrete barriers on the left and right for the first couple miles.  As you get on and merge into traffic, you can immediately identify the Lincolnites.  They are the ones who's knuckles are white as the driven snow since they have to drive a whole 60 MPH through this "tight" area where those concrete barriers could jump out at us at any moment.  Not only are they in a state of complete fear, they can't seem to keep an eye on the speed limit.  Therefore they are only driving somewhere between 50-65 MPH if you are lucky.  Then you find an opening in the traffic to pass this Bozo and as you are driving by, you look over to give the guy a dirty look and they won't take their eyes off the road for even a second.  Which is really all for the best because those eyes are filled to the brim with fear, but very unfulfilling for me because I had one doozy of dirty luck ready for them.

After several miles, we get through the stretch of interstate that is two lanes and we come to Greenwood, NE where the interstate construction has been completed and there are three wide open lanes with no concrete barriers to make the Lincolnites' tummies hurt from all that anxiety.  Now that things have opened up, you would think that the average Lincolnite would no longer make himself a nuisance.  Well, you would be wrong.  At this point, the Lincolnites take a position in the center lane (which is called, THE PASSING LANE for all you Lincolnites reading this), and decide now would be a good time to get out their cell phones and either send that important text or to call their mommies and let them know they made it through the ever so dangerous, two lane portion of the interstate.  Regardless of their reason for making their phone call or sending that text, they drive at a snails pace down the middle of the interstate while swerving from one side of the lane to the next.  Meanwhile, you are trying to decide if it's safe to pass this person since they are obviously taking care of some very important business that just couldn't wait until they got out of their vehicles, or at the very least off the interstate.

Finally, you get up the courage to pass this swerving idiot from Lincoln and put the hammer down and blow the Lincolnites' doors off.  No sooner do you get past him and you notice that the Lincolnite has noticed he has been passed, therefore he has to speed up.  Next thing you know, this driving lunatic is next to you and as you look over, you notice it's time for him to send another flippin' text message!  So you speed up again in an attempt to get in front of this Lincolnite moron.  As you get passed the guy, you look in your rearview mirror only to see this guy looking up from his cell phone and realizing he isn't keeping up with traffic, so of course, he speeds up.

It's at this point that I usually have had enough and am actually a little bit scared that this ninny might just remember he needs to text or phone his Nana to let her know he was thinking of her instead of thinking about the stretch of interstate he has been driving on!  So, it's time to put the hammer down and leave this boob in my dust.  "Burn some dust!  Eat my rubber!"  (Good ol' Clark Griswold)

Usually by this time I have made it to Omaha alive...usually.  Hopefully if you are a Lincolnite and you read this, you won't be incredibly offended by my disdain for the Lincoln driver.  Afterall, you can't help it.  It's not your fault that the city of Lincoln chose to make getting around town an experience that can only be survived by crawling into the inner recesses of your mind and basically driving in a trance-like state.  By necessity very little of your brain is used while driving in Lincoln.  Otherwise you would realize how incredibly stupid the whole process is and would most likely find the nearest cliff to drive off of.  Even I, an Omaha native, born and raised, goes into that trance-like state.  It's purely a survival tactic our brain uses to keep us alive.

No, instead of being offended by this issue of Stinkin' Lincoln, I hope you will use this as an opportunity to be self aware while driving East bound on I-80.  If you look at it that way, you will see this blog for what it is; A public service announcement.  Drive safe Lincoln!

The Jerk Store Called...

It could be worse.  I could be this guy. 

I have come to a realization.  I am a jerk, and really, that is putting it rather mildly. I am holding back from using some words that probably describe me in a very succinct way.  However, I will spare you the vulgarity that would otherwise be used.

Actually, my being a jerk is really something I have known for years, if not my whole life.  But I figured at some point I would grow out of it, or perhaps people would just accept it as part of my unique personality.  Although, people should never have to "accept" a person for being a jerk.  I would never ask anyone to do that.  At any rate, it appears I won't be growing out of it.  In fact I have reached an age where certain traits are ingrained and will probably never be extracted from my personality, be that for the good or bad.

You may be asking, why on earth would I decide to tell this to my meager fan-base?  To be honest, I have had writers block lately and could not really think of anything else to write about.  However, I feel it is worth writing about because I want the world to know that I recognize my foremost shortcoming.  I want you to know why I am this way.  The truth is, I really do not know why, so this will be an exploration into my psyche for us all.  Sometimes I can just start writing and next thing we know I am deep into the hell that is my mind.  At this moment, I feel we may already be about three fathoms into this deep, dark place, so I hope you brought a light, because I am almost positive we will not be able to see our hand in front of our face in here.

Why am I this way?  I had a good childhood.  I was an only child, but I had a couple of families my parents were friends with that had a group of brothers that I felt were almost as close as brothers could have ever been.  We played football, baseball, basketball and any other kind of ball we could find.  Sometimes we did not even have a ball.  We just used up a balled up wad of tape.  Our parents did not like us to play with guns, so we made our own out of Legos.  We played hide and seek at night in golf courses, cemeteries, corn fields, and throughout entire city blocks.  Then as I got older I made many friends and had about as much fun in life as I probably could have and definitely more than I should have. 

My parents took very good care of me physically and materially.   I had a great relationship with my grandfather on my dad's side and loved the other three grandparents, even if they had their quirks.  I got to see Star Wars, E.T. and Raiders of the Lost Arc.  I had a "girlfriend" in kindergarten for crying out loud.  (Then there was a long 11 year drought in the girlfriend department. Throughout that time I hoped I hadn't peaked at 6 years old.)

That was the positive, now on to the negative I had in my life.  I hated school with a passion.  I was treated like crap for being a porky, short and awkward adolescent.  Fatboy, Butterball, and Fat Ass were some of my nicknames throughout Junior High and my Freshman and Sophomore years.  That all ended when I showed up Junior year having grown out of most of the baby fat. 

Additionally, I hardly ever tried in school.  Almost every teacher I ever had said I had a great deal of potential if I would just try.  I had a counselor tell me once that the reason I was the way I was in school was because I found school boring because it did not challenge me (and then he sent me back to my same old boring class.  Good job Mr. Counselor.).  I would agree with what the counselor said in some ways, but man do I hate math and I do not think that has anything to do with me being bored with it.  I was always a rockstar when it came to English courses.  When I was in 4th grade I tested at a college level in English.  Even so, pretty much this is the way every semester went in school: 1st Quarter D average, 2nd Quarter C average, 3rd Quarter F average, 4th Quarter C- average.  I actually almost flunked English my senior year which would have meant summer school, so I went from an F- average in 3rd quarter to a D+.  I am the quintessential under-achiever.

Then there was a period of time in my life where I felt like everyone I knew was going away in one way or another.  Guys I grew up with choosing to run off with worthless girls...or in one case another guy.  Pretty much every girl I ever dated wound up in trouble in some way or another.  My first "love" dumped me like last weeks garbage.  Then I was so hung up on her I probably was blind to other opportunities that were right in front of me.

However, most of my friends that got drug off by girls came back (Can't say the same for the guy that went off with the other guy).   I ended up marrying a wonderful person and great friend.  I ran a successful business for 15 years.   So why the heck am I such a jerk?

Sure there were a few things like school, verbal abuse, and anxiety that I dealt with when I was younger.  I had my beliefs about friends being inseparable shattered to a million pieces.  I had my heart stepped on by a girl and then I was too protective of it.  After 15 years of running that successful business I had to drop our biggest account because they no longer felt like treating us as a business partner but rather they treated us like poop on a shoe.

Really though, these are not the reasons I am a jerk.  Partly it comes down to genetics.  From what I understand my great grand father was a boozing, womanizing, physically abusive man.  As a result my grandmother is not the worlds nicest person.  On top of that, there are some people I am related to that are Coo-Coo for Coco Puffs and that goes back a couple generations.  Hence, you can see that I have all kinds of things going against me in the genetics department. 

Another, I think obvious cause to me being a jerk, is me being an only child.  I am used to getting my way, I think I am right all the time, and I think there should always be a just way to handle things.  Therefore, if I don't get my way, you prove me wrong, or there is a perceived injustice, I will most likely deal with you in a harsh, bombastic way.

Most of all though, I am a jerk because I am stuck in stinkin' Lincoln. I have been trying to get out of this place for 15 years, and hear I sit.

With all of these things in mind, let me say I am making no excuses.  I would love nothing more than being the chipper, always bright eyed and bushy tailed guy that you cut off in traffic and he just waves and says he's sorry for being in your way.  Instead I am the guy that after being cut off might reach for his bottle of water and think very seriously about chucking it at the offender. (99.9999999% of the time I stop myself.)  I wish I was the guy that could just be content with everything that life bestows upon him.  Instead I am the guy that looks at his situation and thinks, "Why didn't I take that left turn instead of a right? Maybe things would have worked out better that way."

All I can say is, thank goodness for pharmaceuticals!  You should thank goodness too.  Otherwise you could be driving along and unknowingly cut someone off and then moments later feel the sting of a half empty water bottle striking the side of your head. 

Corporate Ameri-DUHHHHH

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to put the kids to bed and make sure your parents hearing aids are turned down, because I am about to go off!  Believe it or not, this blog thing is not how I make my living.  No, I get to deal with a Fortune 500 company on a daily basis by supplying a service to them.  For many years it was a great relationship.  We took care of them at a very reasonable price and they paid in a timely manner.  All that has changed as of late and really it's just a microcosm of Corporate America.  A bunch of people sit in a room staring at numbers decide that they are paying everyone too much.  Everybody from the executive assistant all the way down to the janitor.  Of course you notice that it does not continue on up the food chain to include the people that really should have some of their fat cut.  No, the executives all make sure they get theirs.  Afterall, they are the ones that figured out how to screw everyone and ended up with piles of money that they do not know what to do with.  May as well divvy it out amongst themselves in bonus form.

Yes, it's been interesting watching this particular company slash their own throats in the name of short term gains.  They continue to cut payroll budgets so that there is no one in their store to wait on their customers.  They shortened their store hours in some cases so you go there to make a late night run to pick up something you need and find out the store is closed.  You ask to talk to a manager and you get some pimply faced kid that doesn't have a clue about anything that is not related to the video games he plays in his mother's basement, yet he acts like he knows it all.

The company does this all so it can increase it's earnings, not looking at any of the long term consequences of their actions.  It does not matter, because whoever is running the company today will most likely be working for a completely different company once the consequences come to fruition.  They will have moved on to the next company to rape and pillage after having made their millions and boosted their career by "turning around" a beleaguered Fortune 500 company.  When the poo hits the turbine it will not look like it was their fault, it was whoever was manning the helm when the poo went "WHOP!!".  That is the way Corporate America operates.  CEOs, CFOs, COOs and the like move from one gig to another trying to drum up short term earnings so they can cash their million dollar checks.  They continue to screw over all the hard working people that actually do the work that makes the company it's money.  In my mind Corporate America is trying to reinstitute slavery in America.  Now, I am sure that NAACP just gasped, but hear me out.  I am not saying that what corporations are doing today is as bad as what African Americans had to endure.  Not by a long shot.  But what made a lot of people rich back in the infancy of the United States is the fact that they had relatively free labor.  Yes they had to house and feed their slaves, but that was way cheaper that having to actually pay someone to do their work.  That's how Thomas Jefferson made his fortune and there were hundreds if not thousands of others that did the same thing and got rich doing it.  Today, Corporate America has made sure that nobody is able to make a comfortable living, except for the company big wigs of course.  To me, this is a form of slavery.  This time though, it isn't a race of people being used as slaves, it's a class of people, but hey, it's just business, it's nothing personal.  That's what they tell themselves so they can sleep at night.

So, getting back to my story, at one time this was a great company to be involved with.  But a bunch of people in suits staring at numbers saw a number they did not like.  Without doing any research and figuring out if it was a reasonable number or not, they just made a decision that the number had to be lowered.  Keep in mind this is a number that the local stores have been trying to get lowered for years, but they took bid after bid after bid and could never find anything lower.  Or at least a lower bid from people with all their teeth and without a criminal record.  However, the suits, they knew better, there had to be a way to force their hand.  So, they just said, this is how much we will pay you, take it or leave it.  This was several years ago when everyone was wondering if the bottom was going to fall out of the financial system, so work was hard to come by.  We chose to stick with it and try to figure out a way to make it work.  Now that our contract is almost up, we are hearing that once again they are going to try and make us take another pay cut.  Let's just say I've been exfoliating my backside and applying ample amounts of moisturizer to said area in anticipation of the lips that will soon be puckering up to kiss my fat, hairy, soft and supple A**!!!!

Pucker up buttercup!

How Did the Holocaust Come to Be?

Well, I learned me sumpin today!  Who says Netflix is a time waster?  Lately I have been doing research on the Nazis and Adolf Hitler.  I wanted to know where all that hate for people that were not acceptable in the eyes of the Nazi came from.  That led me to a few documentaries about World War II, Auschwitz, Hitler and the Nazi party.  How the extermination of Jews, Gypsies, Jehovah's Witnesses and homosexuals became synonymous with Hitler and the Nazi part is actually a very interesting subject.  A subject that had beginnings that were not unlike the United States and many other "thinking" and "developed" countries. 

Now, before you fly off the handle and label me as a hater of the United States, please read on.  In the early 1900's (1920-1940), a school of thought surfaced among "thinking" and "developed" nations.  At the time, Charles Darwin's theory of evolution had really taken hold.  Of course, Darwin's theory of natural selection was a prime part of his theory of evolution.  Darwin believed that the strong would survive and pass along their positive qualities to the next generation, and the weak, would slowly die off and take their bad qualities with them.  Therefore, Darwin concluded, mankind would eventually reach perfection.  As a result, "thinking" people wondered, "Well, what if we helped that natural selection along and helped weed out the weak, sick, disabled, mentally retarded and dumb!?" 

It was in the 1920's and 30's that sterilization became a popular way to keep the undesirables from reproducing.  The idea being to rid the undesirable people, "help" the natural selection process along and speed up the process.  In fact by the middle of the 1930's, more than half the states in the United Sates had passed laws that authorized the sterilization of "inmates of mental institutions, persons convicted more than once of sex crimes, those doomed to be feeble-minded by 10 tests, 'moral degenerate persons,' and epileptics."

Then, there was the Buck v. Bell case, brought before the United States Supreme Court, (1927), a ruling that upheld a statute instituting compulsory sterilization of the unfit, including the mentally retarded, "for the protection and health of the state." It was largely seen as an endorsement of negative eugenics—the attempt to improve the human race by eliminating "defectives" from the gene pool. 

This ruling was actually used by the Nazi party to make the relatively small leap to the idea of eugenic killings in Nazi Germany.  But to me, it is amazing to think that the United States really had the same mind set as Nazi Germany.  Obviously the United States snapped back to reality once another country dared to kill in the name of eventual human perfection.  Who knows where we would be now had that genocide been allowed to continue here in our home. 

To me, it just shows the dangers that are involved in the theory of evolution.  If we evolved, why not just "help" out the natural selection process and speed up our eventual arrival at perfection?  If we evolved, there really is no such thing as morals or conscience, so why not just do what is believed to be a foregone conclusion anyway?  Fortunately, Adolf Hitler answered these questions for us.  We do have a conscience, unlike other primates.  We are guided by morals, unlike other primates.  So, really, the conclusion of the matter should be quite evident.