Super Scumbag!!!

Well boys and girls, it's been a while since we spoke. Somehow the fun has been zapped from this little blog thingy. I know why, and you know why, so why beat a dead horse? But, still things happen on a daily basis that I think I should write about. This is just one anecdote that I can't let pass by.

I was in the booming metropolis of Fremont, NE on Wednesday night. We have been doing some extra work there the passed week or so. Up until that point things were going pretty smoothly. Which is amazing considering we were working in a 24 hour store. It's amazing the upset one can cause when you close off 4 aisles of a 24 hour store. I do understand the people's frustration. Especially the people that come into the drug store that are in the middle of a life and death situation. You know, the drunk guy that needs some water and a frozen pizza. The skunky reefer smelling dude that has the munchies and NEEDS some snacks. Then we have my personal favorite, the guy that just got called by his parole officer and the parolee needs to come in the next morning for a drug test, and he has got to get the crack he smoked the night before out of his system, which he thinks he can do by eating a lot of fiber and drinking a lot of water. I would have hated to be that guys cell mate the next few days. Although, that's one way to keep from getting raped in prison. Anyhow, it's because of people like that, we have to put up a gauntlet for the customers to keep them out. I put up yellow tape that says, "KEEP OFF THE NEW FLOOR", then I use displays that we had to move and shopping carts to block the entries to the section we are working on. The carts are nice because they also serve as an alarm. As soon as I hear the carts being pulled apart, I know someone is attempting to breach our fortress. But, things had gone smoothly the previous nights. We hardly had anybody come in the store let alone anyone needing something in the section we had closed off. But, that was all about to change. At about 1 AM, three guys that looked like they were straight off the mean streets of Fremont came in and got some stuff out of the candy aisle and looked at some magazines and then headed out. But then, about 2 hours later, the same three guys came in and brought three of their friends. I'm not sure what they thought had changed. Now, I have this knack of knowing who is going to give us trouble. So, as soon as I saw these jokers, I quickly finished up what I was doing and started to head over to the area they were headed. I got about half way there and I heard my "alarm" go off. By the time I turned the corner to cut them off, they had my carts pulled out of the way and were all starting to march onto our freshly cleaned floor. Just then, I felt a rush of adrenalin and I transformed from the meek and mild janitor into the Incredible Janitor. I said, "NOPE! Get back on the other side of that barrier RIGHT NOW, or I will call the cops!" The mention of the word "cops" sent them and the beer in their pockets quickly back behind the barrier. But then one of them says, "For what!?" I pointed to the KEEP OUT tape and said, "It's called trespassing!" (Of course I made that up, because depending on the cop you would get, they might be able to hang a ticket on them for destruction of private property, but that is about it and that is only if they end up damaging a floor waxing job.) They then said, "Can you get us some stuff?", and I said, "If you had asked to begin with, I would have, but since you chose to disrespect us, you can walk down to HyVee." I then headed back to what I was doing in the back of the store. Then from the other side of our barrier the shortest and smallest guy of the bunch pokes his head around the corner and asks me to come over there. I explain to him that I am busy, what does he need. It is about at this time I realize how drunk the guy is.

He says, "Do you own this?"

I say, "Own what?"

"This CVS!"

First of all we were not in a CVS and secondly, what would the owner of a CVS be doing in the store in the middle of the night cleaning the floors? So, naturally, I say, "No."

He says, "Say you own it..."

I say, "What!?"

He says, "Say you own it... just say it! And, like, a group of guys come in to buy some stuff and they spend $20, that's 20 bucks out of your pocket, man. You're gonna turn away $20!?"

Me, "Take it up with the manager, man, I'm busy."

Drunk dude, "I'm talkin' to you, man! We came in here, we didn't want any trouble, we just wanted to some food. We didn't do anything wrong, and..."

Me, "You see, that is where you are wrong, the second you crossed our barrier, you started trouble and did something wrong!"

Drunk dude, "Fine! Have fun workin' at CVS! %$#@ SCUMBAG!!!"

At that point the manager comes over and kicks them out of the store and follows them out so they don't get any ideas. Usually when something like this happens, the first thing I am concerned about is the offended person going out and doing something to one of my trucks. But they started making their way to HyVee, which was about 6 blocks down the road in the cold and rain.

Now, the thing that gets me about the exchange I had with the brainiac in the back of the store, is the end where he calls me a "Scumbag". If that wasn't the pot calling the kettle black, I don't know what is. I take a certain satisfaction that by the looks of this guy the best job he could ever hope for is drug smuggler and/or runner. I sure as heck wouldn't hire him to even clean a toilet. Why do people put tattoos on their necks anyway? Is it so they can limit the jobs they can ever get hired for? That way they can continue to collect unemployment and stay up late and harass the floor cleaning guys? It sure seems that way sometimes.