Happy Bathday to You!

It was bath-day for the dogs tonight. My wife and I sing the dogs "Happy Bathday" to try to calm them, but it usually just results in them trying to stuff their giant Mastiff bodies under something that only their head will fit. I guess they figure as long you can't see their head, there is no way you can see the rest of them. The dogs being the size they are, we find it easiest to just stick them in the tub and scrub 'em down. Howard, the younger of the two, and bigger, hates bathday. We have to coax him into the bathroom and pickup the front half of this 170 pound dog, and then he will finally help you out by bringing his back legs into the tub himself. He then stands there, legs shaking, head tucked into the corner and only taking his head out of the corner to look for opportunities to bolt. Upon completion of the bath, he then jumps out, lets us towel him off and then heads to our bedroom to stick his head under the bed and pout for the next hour. He won't look at us, he won't take a treat from us, he just lays there looking pathetic. Meanwhile, back in the bathroom, we have Lucy, who has happily made her way into the tub all by herself. Back in her younger days, she would act like she was about to be put to death when you took her in the bathroom. Since she is now 7 years old, and has a touch of arthritis, she seems to enjoy a nice warm bath on her arthritic joints. She has this kind of funny thing she does when her bath is done. Our second floor consists of 3 12x12 bedrooms and a small bathroom. But she makes good use of the area by running from room to room shaking the water from her body and snorting like a Brahma bull. She then tries to grab the towel we dried her off with, however, we only made that mistake once. We give her an old shirt, or rag and she stands on it with her from paws and bites it and pulls with all her might. The rag usually is torn into a dozen or so pieces and Lucy is happy.

I know it's boring listening to someone tell you stories about their stupid dogs. Much like when you tell me stories about your stupid kids and/or pets. But today, it was either that or listening to me piss and moan about something else. I have plenty of material for that. Tomorrow, I will tell you about my trip to Menards today. That was actually pretty funny now that I am removed from the situation. Until we meet again!