Man's Best Friend

Dogs are cool. The amazing thing about that statement is that I grew up a cat person. I always wanted a dog, but the folks are cat people and on top of that, they always said dogs were too messy. Which is true. They can destroy your house, if you let them. They can leave doggy landmines everywhere in the backyard, if you let them. They can be annoying, if you let them. My wife was always a dog person. While we were dating, her brother had a Dalmatian named Pepper (original, huh). Pepper is the reason I started to like dogs. Pepper, was not perfect behaviorally, but they didn't let him get away with anything he pleased. On top of that, he was cool none the less. He could say "I love you", as long as he was getting a treat afterwards, of course. He loved to go on walks in the country. He would run into a corn field and you would see the birds scatter, and then he would come out with some species of dead animal, which we would have to try to wrestle away, otherwise soon Pepper would be rolling on that dead animal. Looking back on that, it brings a smile to my face, but at the time, not so funny.

In 2001 we got our first dog. She is an English Mastiff that we named Lucy. Her full name on her AKC card is Lucy Annabelle Josephine Hudson of Caledonia. The Hudson of Caledonia part is the name of the breeder, we aren't that pretentious. Lucy was the cutest puppy in the world, or so we thought. Owning a puppy is much like being a parent. No matter how ugly your kid is, you think your little darling should be in a Baby Gap catalog. Lucy is bowlegged, she has back problems, her head is too small for her body and her teeth look like they need braces. But she is our little darling girl. However, a couple of years ago, we decided to get another English Mastiff. It was a fairly easy decision since the breeders we bought Lucy from had a 10 month old male they needed to find a good home for and were willing to give it away for free. Enter Howard Milton Elvis Hudson of Caledonia, or Howie for short. Howard is the quintessential English Mastiff. We read several books on English Mastiffs before we got Lucy and they said that Mastiffs do not bark much. Lucy barks at everything from a leaf blowing by to a blue haired lady in neon clothes from the 70's and blue blockers. This was just one Mastiff myth that Lucy dispelled. When Howie came on the scene, however, he was everything the books said a Mastiff would be. Howie just wants to be loved. He wants to be everybody's friend. That is unless you mess with anyone or anything in our household, from the cat to his "momma". Which at that point you get the privilege of hearing a bark so loud that it makes the fillings in your teeth vibrate. Mastiffs don't usually bite, but they will stand on top of you and not let you move until the owner says it's okay. So in closing, my word of advice is, if you meet someone with a Mastiff, you probably should become fast friends with their owner. But don't dare try and fake it, the Mastiff, much like myself, can see through your facade of crap. Nice doggy!