Happy Freaking Birthday To Me

September 29, 1972, the day I was born. So, I guess that makes me 37. Yippy. The glory days are gone, time (and gravity) is starting to take its toll. When you are young, birth dates are looked forward to. When you are 9, you can't wait to be 10 so you are in double digits. When you are 12, you can't wait to be 13 so you are a teenager. At 14 you long to be 15 so you can get your learners permit. Then at 15 you start looking forward to 16 so you can drive all by yourself. At 17 you can't wait to be 18 so you can graduate from high school. After that, all attention is focused on your 21st birthday so you can down some free Tequila shots and act like a fool. Finally, you look forward to 24. Why, you ask? Because your auto insurance goes down because the insurance company finally views you as a mature adult. After 24 there is nothing to look forward to. Just counting the years as they speed by with greater and greater valocity. I have enjoyed my 30's up until now. It seems like with each passing year, people start to take you a little more seriously, which can be nice. You finally have the money that you have lacked to do the things you wanted to do, like scuba diving. But, in three short years, I will be 40 and in 13 years I will be 50. Youth is slipping by, it seems. I think that is why I have been doing things that 10 years ago I wouldn't have even considered doing. Things like scuba diving, learning to play guitar, writting a blog, and jogging. Maybe if I keep on this track I am on I will end up doing something really crazy like regular pioneering. I never thought I would even consider, but even right now I am sitting here thinking, "Why not?". I just wish I would have listened to my grandparents when then tried to tell me 30 years ago that I should take advantage of my youth and do things that I might not have a chance to do later. Funny how you can't see what you have until it's gone when you are young. No matter how many people tell you how great you have it when you are young, all you can do is look forward to being older. Well, I am done with that. I hope to stay forever young, but the way time is chugging along, I better really take advantage while I still can. So, WHO'S WITH ME!!??

The Ocean is Calling

Hello all my faithful readers. I apologize for not writing anything for you to read lately. As you may or may not know, I was on a scuba diving trip to Grand Cayman. To say it was fun would be misleading. It goes beyond "fun". It was more in the realm of beguilement, delectation, frivolity, or even perhaps whoopee! The only thing that detracted from my gaiety was the heat and humidity (HA! That rhymed). The one reason I could not live in the Caribbean is the heat and humidity. As I have mentioned in the past, I sweat easily, always have. To put me in that climate is like putting a glass of an ice cold beverage on the picnic table in summer. Next thing you know water is rolling off the side of the glass making little puddles everywhere. That's me, Mr. Puddles. But, I decided that scuba diving is the perfect sport for me. Even though the Atlantic Ocean is around 87 degrees in the vicinity of Grand Cayman, it's still cooler than my body temperature, so I did not get hot while diving. Even if I did get hot, who's going to know. It's a little difficult to tell if someone is sweating when under water. So, there you have it, it's truely the perfect sport for me. The problem with now being in love with the ocean and addicted to scuba diving, I have to figure out what I am going to give up in my life to make it so I can afford to go on a couple dive trips a year. I actually have put some thought into it already. Sadly, Dave Matthews Band is going to have to do without me next year unless they come really close to the Stinkin Lincoln area. Another factor is hopefully the vacation deals on the Internet will continue. Then I have to hope I can talk my lovely wife into going to some remote island where the only thing to do is lay around and drink Mud Slides or Pina Coladas. The latter will be the hardest part. My wife loves to shop. She usually contains herself very well, that is until we go on vacation. That's why she likes to go to cities for vacations. Dallas, New York, Milwaukee, Kansas City, they all have great shopping. Georgetown, Grand Cayman, not so much. That is, unless you have a few thousand dollars burning a hole in your pocket. Everything is quite expensive on an island. So, what to use as a lure? One thing she REALLY wants to do is swim with the dolphins. For all my guy friends that read this, I am not referring to the Miami Dolphins of the NFL, I am talking about the porpoises. That's something that could keep her busy for an an morning while I am diving. But that ain't gonna cut it! Must...dive...MANYMANYMANY...times! I had 5 days in Cayman to dive and I got 13 dives in. The nice thing is usually you do your dives in the morning and then maybe one in the early afternoon, then you have the rest of the day for whatever. But still I am going to have to figure out how to keep her busy so she doesn't drive herself crazy sitting around (if you know my wife, you know sitting around doing nothing is NOT her style), or drink way too many Pina Colodas while waiting for me. I wish she would dive with me, but she doesn't think she could do it. Scuba is not one of those things that you really should be forced to do if you don't want to. The last thing you want is to freak out 80 feet down and make a deadly mistake because you weren't thinking straight. I guess the answer to my quandary, is to find someplace to dive that has a city nearby that can accommodate Mrs. H's needs. Research is in order. Before I head off to do that, let me say that if you have been wanting to learn to scuba dive, or you even just like nature, you MUST learn to dive. It was one of the most thrilling and beautiful experiences of my life. The ocean is already calling me back. On that note, I am off to do some research on dive sites with all the modern conveniences of Dallas. This should be fun.

Huskers...Ugh...

Oh Husker football. How you have the ability to make me feel euphoric one moment and devastated the very next. You give me hope for only the reason of being able to rip it away. You make me believe but it's only a lie. Yet, I continue to come back for more. Like a dog that is kicked by his owner, when you flash me that Big Red steak, I will come running back, happy and dumb, for yet another kick. This Saturday was no different. Late in the fourth quarter I was sure we were going to win. Even when VT got the ball with under 2 minutes left in the game, I felt it was in the bag. After all, Tech had been having trouble all day long moving the ball. Surely the defense would be more focused and stingy than they had been up to that point. But, what it comes down to is championship caliber teams already know how to seal the deal. The only problem was VT was the team that knew how to win. Nebraska has yet to learn that. After being losers for so long under Callahan they still don't have that confidence that VT has. I am willing to bet that VT never lost their confidence. They never felt like they were going to lose. I only hope that Bo, Carl, Watson and their players learn from this experience. My guess is they have. If anything it has made them more hungry. Plus, Bo isn't going to let them take a step back. Here is my prediction for the rest of this season: Nebraska doesn't lose another game this year. They will be the Big XII champions and they will play in a BCS game. Sometimes, you have to take a step back before you can take two steps forward. (See 1996 Huskers.) I think they will realize what they need to do to win from here on out. Oh, and hide the women and children this coming Saturday. It's going to get ugly. I feel an old fashioned butt-whoopin' comin'! The Cajuns won't be the ones Ragin'. No, it will be Bo and company taking out some hostility on those poor fellers from Louisiana. Break out the fava beans and nice Chianti. Ragin' Cajuns, it's what's for dinner!

Isn't It Ironic? Don't Ya Think?

I clean this little hippie coffee shop here in town. You know the type, you walk in and all the baristas are wearing hemp shirts with their hair in dreadlocks, the coffee cups are made of hemp paper and virtually everyone in the shop smokes hemp, or as I like to call it, doobage. The owners of this coffee shop do their very best to be as environmentally conscious as they can. They go to the extra effort to recycle, which means having several trash cans in the back to separate all the recyclables. They even recycle their coffee grounds. A farmer comes in once a week or so and takes a 55 gallon drum full of used coffee grounds. (Do you suppose his cows are all running around all hopped up on caffeine?) Without a doubt, they support "Go Green!". Now, here is the slap your forehead and/or funny part. They have an area where they offer free literature like "The Thrifty Nickle" and in addition their are probably another 15 publications available for your reading pleasure, half of which are dedicated to Green living. Does that strike anyone else as odd? Doesn't that go against what "Go Green" is all about? How many trees died to help promote going green? And to a large extent those publications will go unread and then thrown away, or more likely recycled. For those that say "Go Green" is a bunch of hog wash, they argue that to recycle paper, plastic, metal, etc., takes more energy than to just throw the stuff away and start over. I think that is neither here nor there. I think as long as you are keeping that stuff out of the land fills, and not killing more trees than necessary, that is what "Go Green" should really be about. Nonetheless, why throw unread newspapers on the fire, if you will? Why do they need 8 different magazines about how to lead a "green" lifestyle. I hope I am not the only one seeing the irony of this? It's like if a group was trying to encourage a healthy lifestyle and to promote it they had a bake sale. Or like the picture above that has an ashtray given out by the Singapore Cancer Society. What moron thought that was a great promotional idea? It's an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected. Oh, irony, what would I do without you. You make my life complete and happy. Plus you give me stuff to blog about!

#13, Good Thing I'm not Supersticious (knock-on-wood)

Break out the champagne! We did. Today my wife and I are celebrating our anniversary. Thirteen years since we vowed to spend the rest of our lives together. That, I am perfectly happy to live with. What came with that vow at the time, was Stinkin Lincoln. You see, my father-in-law said he never wanted to see his daughter live in Omaha. So, me being naive, I said, "Yes, sir!", when I should have done what I learned a while back. A district manager for the company we do better than half of our work for once told me when a manager is being difficult, "just let a sleeping dog lay". In other words, just say, "sure, I will take care of that right away", then just ignore the request. That has been working quite well for me for the past 10 years or so. Because what usually happens is they will make that crazy request, I will say I will take care of it, and then they will just forget about it because it is such a dumb request. So, to my father-in-law I should have said, "Yes, sir!", and then got the heck out of Dodge...or would it be, get the heck back TO Dodge. Either way, I should have gotten out of Stinkin Lincoln. Then again, I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into. I knew the traffic was bad. Anybody can figure that out within a week of driving around. At first you think, "Wow, what a bad traffic day." Then the next day, same thing. The day after that, same thing. That's when you start to think something might be up. By the 5th day, you have it figured out. Stinkin Lincoln, the place where you get no where fast. But, the fact that people are so different here compared to Omaha was a very big surprise.





I just realized how totally off base I got with this installment. My intent was to talk about how great it has been being married to the V Lady for the past 13 years. So, back to that. One thing I figured out about her, she is too good for me. Why she married a clown like me is beyond reason. Granted, I am funny, sometimes I am charming, at the right angle I can be not too bad to look at, and I am fairly intelligent. But, at the time we became interested in one another, I was a loud, obnoxious, and somewhat arrogant fool. But, the thing that we have most in common is our love for Jehovah and that is what makes it work. But, that love motivates her in much better way than it motivates me. I don't want to get to deep into the differences, but on a spiritual level, she is head, shoulders, torso, waist, hips, knees and ankles above me. It's not a question of beliefs. We both believe the same things, she just is amazing the things she is able to accomplish. She is my inspiration.



One thing that really brought us close together is our appreciation for music. We see several Dave Matthews Band shows each year. Some people say we are obsessed. What they don't understand is it's something we enjoy doing together and we always have a great time together. Plus, we always try to see them in different parts of the country so we can see new places. For instance, this year, we went to Milwaukee. Never in a million years would I have any reason to go to Milwaukee. However, cheese is yummy! But Milwaukee, and Wisconsin in general is an overall cool place to go, and we never would have known that had it not been for our equal appreciation for DMB.



Well, I look forward to the next 13 years with my girl. Hopefully she continues to put up with me and my guy trips, my football obsession and my procrastination. If she does, I will continue to put up with her leaving the seat down on the toilet. I mean, how about a little common courtesy!

Me Or Bill Callahan?

Well, I think the glory days are over. The days where I could pretty much say anything I wanted to on here are done. The days of only having about 3 people (Kevin, Mom and Dad) look at my blog are history. I can't say that it is because it has become too popular. But it's more along the lines of the fact that people just find out about things. Word travels fast as they say. Next thing you know people that you barely know are looking at your thoughts and taking it too seriously. Anyone that knows me knows that most things I say are just for effect. I just want to make people laugh. Some could argue that I do it at the expense of others. Yes and no. Even if I am talking about someone, I don't name names and try to not even give enough information for people to figure out who I am talking about. The problem, you see, is when the person I am talking about wonders into my blog. If someone was blogging about me and said, "...that short, tubby, insensitive jerk...", I would have a pretty good idea they were talking about me. Either that or Bill Callahan. So, to the person I have offended, I apologize. To those that I will offend, and it will happen, not on purpose mind you, but it will happen, I apologize. Sometimes I go too far. But, there are two things you can take comfort in:

1) Most people that look at this are from Omaha, and have no idea who you are.

2) My wife is going to kill me when she finds out about this.

I assume now we will never be buddies, but I am not that great of a guy anyhow. You are not really losing out on much, as I am sure you have already made that assumption. To the rest of you that like me in spite of my faults, I promise to continue my sarcastic blogs, but first, a sensitivity course.

Update 4

First of all, for the record, those are not my gnarly toes, and no, I do not weigh 250 lbs. And now, on with the show! Well, I had someone ask me if I had lost weight today. I suppose that is a good sign. In my history of yo-yo dieting, I always notice people start to realize something is up around the 15 pound mark. I actually am still a couple pounds shy of that, but I will take it. As far as exercise since the last update. I did push ups one night, sit ups another night and have been going on pretty long walks with my wife and the dogs. I usually "cheat" on my diets during the weekend, and this weekend was no different, though I still ate pretty good. My parents took my wife and I out for our anniversary this weekend, so we partook of the dessert tray. I still need to get on a regular exercise program and eat more fruits and veggies. Well, I think I will stop here. No need to bore you any further with my personal battle of the bulge. But, I still wanted to get you an update so you didn't think I had given up. Oh, I will say that I have been keeping myself from getting on the scale. I have weighed myself once in the past week. I think I won't get on a scale until Wednesday. At that time I will give you another update.

Dancing with the Elderly, the Gay and the Creepy

I have been on this kick lately where I want to try new things. Scuba diving, going places I have never been before, and even this blog is kind of a step out of the norm for me. Tonight, I really ventured outside my comfort zone. My wife, her sister, her sister's boyfriend and myself went, and get this, dancing. I, for one, was not blessed with the feet of Fred Astaire or even Fred Flintstone for that matter. Yet, I found myself on a dance floor getting a free dance lesson from someone of questionable sexuality. We were taught the Samba, or maybe it was the Rumba, nevertheless, it was a mba of some sort. What scares me is it was actually kind of fun. The crowd that was there was leaning towards the one foot in the grave side of life. I seriously thought this one couple was going to fall and break a hip when a waltz came on. All kidding aside, having an older crowd there was actually kind of fun. There was this one little old man there, he kind of reminded me of my grandfather. Short, charming and all the young girls there loved him. Only this guy, unlike my grandfather's luxuriant head of hair, was bald as a cue ball. Come to think of it, he also reminded me of the little old man on Bennie Hill that Bennie would always slap on the head. Anyhow, that man's dance card was full. He even danced with the hostess a couple times. Yep, he was a charmer. Then you had the creepy guys. You could tell they were just there to pick up women. Which was odd, because as far as I could tell there only about 2 or 3 ladies there that came alone. Plus they are the kind of guys I would imagine being on the other end of an Internet chat room, with a studly picture of some other guy as their profile picture so they can hit on teenaged girls even though they are well into their 50's. Maybe they were there if one of the old geezers dropped dead and they could be the first one to ask the widow to dance. At any rate, they were creepy. In spite of the creepy guys, it still was a fun night. So, I guess the point is, it's nice to step out of your comfort zone every once in a while. Blue hairs, homosexuals, and creepy men are so far out of my comfort zone, I may as well have been in Council Bluffs.

Insomniac

I am an insomniac. Wow, I just felt like I was at an AA meeting or something. "Hello, my name is Brandon and I am an insomniac." My life is SO the very opposite of being scheduled. My job requires that I be up at different times of the day all throughout the week and then I have my family obligations on the weekends. Here is a typical Brandon week:

Monday: Get up around 10-11 AM. Big work day, take care of any 'fires' that may have been started over the weekend, get supplies, work on equipment, etc. Then usually have a late work night until about 3 AM. Go to sleep around 5 AM

Tuesday: Get up around 12 PM. Usually don't work very late on Tuesdays, since I got church. Usually get to sleep around 3 AM.

Wednesday: Get up around 11 AM. Another Big work day. Almost always an all nighter day, or at least late night job. Get home around 4 AM, asleep by 6 AM.

Thursday: Get up around 12 PM. Scheduling day. Call accounts to set up jobs for the next two weeks. Also, work around the house day. I usually can get to bed "early" on Thursday night. Much like tonight, but sometimes, actually quite often, I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep.

Friday: Get up anywhere from 11 AM-1 PM, depending on if I was able to catch some Z's last night. Friday is kind of an anything day. Whatever needs to be done is usually taken care of on Friday. Then depending once again on whether I slept well the night before, I either go to sleep at 2 AM or it could be as late as 5 AM.

Saturday: Here is where it gets interesting. I now have to shift into normal mode. We go out in the ministry at 9:30 AM most Saturday's, so that means I have to get my butt out of bed, throw some toothpicks and between my eyelids and get ready to go. Coffee is always a must on Saturdays. I don't care if that means we don't get to the meeting until 9:45 AM, I am getting coffee! Then it's either a 2 hour nap, or force myself to stay awake by never stopping movement. Any sitting down, or worse yet, laying down, will result in the body shutting down instantaneously. Regardless, Saturday is usually do whatever the Mrs. tells me day...until kickoff.

Sunday: Get up at 11 AM or noon. Church goin' day, starts at 1 PM, that is until January 1st when it goes back to 10 AM. Won't that be awesome! Sunday I usually just let my guys do most of the work but we will do some extra stuff from time to time on Sunday's. Usually get to bed around 2 AM.

Well, now you know why I look tired all the time. Because I am. The funny thing is I will be dead tired all day long, but then come about 9 PM, my body is ready to party no matter how little sleep I got last night. I am a big believer that people who sleep during the day don't get nearly as good a quality of sleep as people that live normal lives. There is a reason it is dark and quiet at night. God wants us to be asleep. He lovingly provided us with the perfect environment for sleeping. Yet, here I am, typing when I should be sleeping. I always say, "Why did my father have to be a janitor and not an architect?" It's not the work that I hate, it's the hours you have to keep. Although, it helps to be the boss. I couldn't do this job if I had to take orders from the likes of me. Certainly I would be smarter than myself! (You might have to think about that one a minute, but it's worth the effort.)

Update 3

Maybe I shouldn't be counting the days. It makes them drag. Like they say, a watched pot never boils, but an unwatched pot boils immediately. Regardless, I have pretty much made it through another day unscathed. Yogurt for breakfast, chicken chili for lunch, salmon and veggies for dinner. I started to drink a coke today, but guilt made me stop half way through. Other than that, it's been a good day. The only thing, I didn't do much in the way of exercise. I did want to go for a run today, but I think I tweaked my ankle a bit the other night when I did that run. It never fails. I am what they call, injury prone. If I were in the NFL, fantasy football leagues would be drafting me in the final round, even if I were a great player, just because I would be sure to miss some games because I hurt something. Anyhow, though I didn't do any official exercise, it's funny how when you are on a diet/workout kick that everything becomes a workout. You end up taking the stairs when you could take the elevator. You pick up something heavy and you squeeze your muscles to get some good out of that one lift. You try to do things with good form so maybe, just maybe, it will have some benefit in losing those unwanted pounds. So, what I am doing right now, is every time I bring this glass of beer to my lips, I work my biceps. Then, when I return the glass to the table, I squeeze my triceps. It's almost like a super set. Hmmmm, I wonder if I should do more than just one set?

Update 2

Okay, fresh off of work, here I am to give you the inside scoop to my weight loss efforts. Today was not as good as yesterday, I guess. I got up and had lunch because it was that time of day. I had a bowl of White Chicken Chili and a dinner roll. I wasn't hungry when I went to work, strangely enough, so when I got home, I was starving. Which can be dangerous. The frozen pizza was calling my name! But I resisted and had a cold chicken breast, cooked of course, but left over from dinner the other night. Still hungry, I had a small bowl of soup and I had a beer with my meal. I am now sipping on some water and going to sleep. I think one of my biggest problems is I probably don't eat enough. So, my body is always in starvation mode. It burns up all the carbs and leaves the fat behind. Funny how the body works. I wish there was a button I could push to let it know we aren't in a famine, I am just trying to drop some pounds. For "exercise" today, I worked. I had to strip two bathrooms and elevator, all by hand because they were such small areas. Normally I would break out a machine and let it do the work. But instead, I worked my butt off for 5 hours without stopping. I kind of think all this work I have been doing lately on the garage and at floor jobs is the reason I have been losing weigh without trying lately. It's funny, when people first start working for me, they almost always lose 10-20 pounds. Between the walking and the manual labor we do, it melts our new guys down to size. Hopefully, it will melt me down to about 175 lbs.

Update 1

Since I am about 3 minutes from leaving for work, I tought I would give you an update on the "diet". I forgot to do that last night, and I appologize. But, I didn't forget that I was going to be held accountable for my actions. Yesterday I woke up and had a protein shake. It was like trying to choke down a protein shake, if you know what I mean. Later I had some cantelope and pineapple. Then for dinner I had White Chicken Chilli with a dinner roll. After my meeting, and a 1 mile run, I had some chips and guacomole (did I spell that right?). Before bed I had a peanutbutter sandwich. And, when I couldn't sleep, I found myself craving a beer, and I gave in. That, besides alot of water and diet drinks was the extent of my intake. I will tell you later how today as gone. Off to work I go!

Wanna See What it Looks Like When I Run?

I have been a sports fan my entire life. I can't remember a time I didn't root the Huskers on to victory, and sometimes, defeat. I remember getting up in the middle of the night with my dad in 1976 to listen to the Nebraska at Hawaii game on the radio. I collected NFL football cards starting in 1981. Then in 1985 I started collecting baseball cards. That really became my main hobby. By the time I was a junior in High Skool, I had enough football and baseball cards that when I sold them, I went on a 7 day trip to California, and buy a really nice baseball bat and new glove when I got back. When I was a kid, I liked to play football a lot. One time, one of my grandma Lilly's house cleaning jobs gave her some football uniforms, complete with pads and helmets. There were 4 sets. I was supposed to share two of them with my cousin, but don't tell him, because being an only child, I didn't want to share them with him. Plus, he didn't like sports. He was a country boy. He liked fishin' and killin' stuff. Therefore, I wanted to share them with my friends. Because my cousin wouldn't have strapped on the pads with his friends and ran at each other as fast we could and slammed into each other over and over again. Each time my friends and myself would always say, "Wow! It doesn't even hurt! This is great! Let's do it again!" That's the joy of being a kid and not having a whole lot of weight behind you to make you or your friend experience pain. Then, as I got older, and stopped being afraid of a baseball, baseball became my sport. Most of my friends at that time liked basketball, especially since Michael Jordan was huge then. But, I am 5' 6", and at my peek, I only had a 30" vertical, at the absolute most, and that might be stretching it an inch or two. So, baseball seemed the logical choice. I was good enough that the baseball coach saw me play softball during gym class and asked me if I wanted to go out for the team (baseball team, not softball). I wanted to, but I had this problem. I couldn't stand the jocks on the baseball team. For some reason, they were the most foul people in school. They all chewed tobacco, and seemed to rarely shower. The last thing I wanted was to be around them any more than necessary. Later on, I realized that even short people can be good at shooting the basketball. So I started to enjoy basketball a little more.

So, what makes me bring all this up? Well, I have a fantasy football team that needs a quarterback. So I was looking to see who was available and I came to Kerry Collins. I thought to myself, "Wow, that guy has been around forever, he's got to be older than dirt by now." Much to my dissatisfaction, I looked at his stats, and he is younger than me by 3 months. It was an awesome feeling...NOT! But, it made me reflect back on my "career" as a sports enthusiast. And, I don't think I am done. I really feel like I can get back in shape. I have lost 10 pounds over the past 3 weeks, and have an incentive to lose more for my SCUBA trip. I also would like to request that you help me. Each day from here on out, I will give you an update on if I went to the gym, what I did there, and what I ate for the day. This will give me some accountability since I am not going to want to give myself a bad report. I have 13 days before I leave for my trip. I think I can lose at least 6 more lbs. Actually, I would like to lose 10 more, but that is probably not too healthy, so as my aunt Diane would say, "I am keeping it real! Keepinitreal! Keepinitreal! Keepinitreal!" (She has crazy amounts of energy. )

We will start with today. Since I didn't know I was going to do this, it's not going to be the picture of what the next 13 days will be like. But here it goes. I had a chicken sandwich with french fries and a Diet Coke for lunch, from McDonald's, of all places. What's sad about this confession, is I literally go to McDonald's once a year. Today just happened to be the day. Then I had a hamburger for dinner. Protein shake for a bedtime snack. For exercise today, I did 100 crunches, 40 push ups, and about 20 minutes of cardio.

What I need to do starting tomorrow: I need to start having about 3 protein shakes a day, starting with breakfast. I usually don't eat for a few hours after I get up. That's not good. After all, after lunch and dinner, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. (If you can tell me what movie that is from, you win a prize!) I should have some snacks in between meals, like veggies or some fruit. Fiber is important. A nutritionist once told me that the shorter period of time your food stays in your body the less time your body has to draw out all the fat in the food. Yep, a daily poo is very important. I need to do at least one hour of cardio a day, at least 100 crunches a day and work out a couple times a week.

Well, I will let you know how it goes. Check in tomorrow to see how I did.

Go Green!

You know, I am the kind of guy that likes a nice warm and sunny day. But, I think every once in a while, a dreary, rainy, dark day is called for. Number one, it's excellent for either sleeping in, or naps, or better yet, BOTH! I'm getting drowsy just thinking about the symphony of sounds that rain makes as it splash lands on the earth. It reminds me of an old "Frazier" episode where Niles is spending the night with Frazier. Frazier has his bedroom window open and Niles asks him to shut the window because the sound of the rain was keeping him awake. Frazier obliges him and shuts the window. No sooner does Frazier have the window shut, Niles turns on his sounds of nature CD with the sound of, you guessed it, rain. However, unlike Niles, I prefer the real thing. It puts me out like a light!

Not only are rainy days great for sleeping, they also bring out the green of nature. We used to have this spectacular tree in our backyard. It was a Hackberry. It was very old and very big. It had a split in the trunk so we ended up having to cut in down before it fell down. (The one shown in the picture is not ours, but it was the same size and age as ours.) I counted 98 rings when they cut her down. But, when it was still alive, when it would rain the moss would practically glow it was so green. Today as I was driving around in the rain, I was reminded of that old tree. I would look at the trees as I was sitting at a red light and notice how green the moss growing up the side of the trees was. It was pretty amazing. It's what I imagine being in a rainforest would be like. Looking at how green everything was today, it was hard to believe that in a few weeks, the only green we will be seeing is green olive in our martini. So, in a way, it seems like it was the last hoorah of summer in all it's splendid greenness. Sadly, another summer is just about to transform into fall. But what a beautiful summer it was!

#85

For my 85th post here at Stinkin' Lincoln, I decided to update my page and give you something fresh to look at. I have been wanting to change my look essentially since day one. I have always felt like a big copy cat. You see, a buddy of mine, (You know who are, at least I hope you do, otherwise who would you think you are?) he started his blog before I started mine and we had the same template all this time. Sometimes I didn't know if I was looking at my blog or his. Actually, it was pretty easy to tell them apart. He is a better writer than I am and typically more upbeat. If you haven't noticed, I can be a bit of a downer. But, that's because I am using you all as therapists. And just because I said that, I don't want to be receiving bills in the mail from you. It will just go in the paper shredder like the rest of them. Anyhow, I am now an individual. Just like all those individuals with the same tattoo of the razor wire around their arm. Yep, I am sure nobody else on Blogspot.com has chosen this same template. Well, that's my lame post of the day. Enjoy the scenery and come back and see again real soon.