Traffic VI: Turning Lanes

Yes, it is time for yet another installment of Stinkin' Lincoln Traffic. In this episode we will discuss that third lane that runs up the middle of a two lane road. Yes, the turning lane. Rather than widening a road so there are two lanes going each direction, Stinkin' Lincoln officials have decided it is sufficient to just add a turning lane. I am not sure why they bother. You see, 75-80% of the population do not know how to use a turning lane. It's like they think it is there so we don't have to drive so dangerously close to on-coming traffic, or perhaps they view it as decoration, those yellow dotted lines next to the solid yellow line sure are pretty, pretty as a canary. Over the weekend I was driving somewhere here in Stinkin' Lincoln (I can't remember where, I blocked it out), and some bozo stops to make a left turn with about one quarter of his car in the turning lane and the rest in my lane. The traffic was thick (Shocker!), and it was going to take a while for the guy to make his turn, so I gave a polite, yet forceful honk of the horn. The guy wigs out! Throws his hands up in the air and puts the hammer down on his PT Cruiser (putt-putt-putt) while gesturing wildly. All he had to do was move up about five feet. He would have then been in the turning, not blocking traffic, and still could have made his turn. But nooooooo! He has to go and make a huge deal out of it, when he was the bonehead that wasn't driving properly in the first place. Actually, this guy was at least a little bit in the turning lane, most people don't even bother to get in the lane at all. Then you have the idiots that use the turning lane as a passing lane. I live on a busy street with a turning lane running up the middle. At least once a day you will hear some yahoo rev up his 4 cylinder lawnmower engine and pass someone using the turning lane. Actually, the best is when it's a 10 cylinder truck. They tach it up and blow the slow driving little old lady's doors off, and make my whole house shake, which with the previous termite damage, that makes me a little nervous. Anyhow, it seems as though people here in Stinkin' Lincoln use the turning lane for just about everything BUT turning. So, if you find yourself in this fine and lovely city, bring your bazooka to blast the people that are turning in your lane out of your way. Don't say I didn't warn you!