Confession

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, and momma ain't happy. After her perusal of my previous blog, my mother is disappointed in me. The revelation that I was not the perfect youngster proved to be a little too much. I refer to my winging rubber balls at on coming cars. All I can say is that thing they always say about peer pressure is true. The devil made me do it. Bad associations spoil useful habits, and so on. So, since momma ain't happy, I figure it is a good time to confess all of my... well, some of the stupid things I did during my youth. Heck, she's mad already, and she's not really the type to get that much madder. So here we go:

I played hide and seek in a cemetery, and on a golf course in the middle of the night, but I did not vandalize anything. I went in the sewer system and explored the underground world, but I did not sacrifice a goat to the demons. I was part of a band of youngsters that took a fire extinguisher that shot water and sprayed people in their car, usually resulting in a car chase, but I never got into a fight. I drank before I was 21, but I never did drugs. When I was in the second grade I threw a rock at Bud's Place, a neighborhood bar, breaking a light in their parking lot, but it was because there were other kids doing it, and they had terrible aim. I hit it first shot. It was AWESOME!! But I am very ashamed. Also in second grade, I kissed Bree Kennedy in her mom's garage, but there was no heavy petting involved, we were 9 for cry'n' out loud. Okay, I take it back, I got into fights, but they all deserved it. Well, except one time, but it was more of a boxing match. I made a neighbor kid drink mud water, but it was his own stupid fault, I told him it was chocolate milk and he believed me. Oh yeah, and I threw potatoes at a concert I should not have been at, but to my knowledge I didn't hit anyone. At this same concert there was a mosh pit, and some guy slammed into me really hard and then acted like he wanted to fight. Next think I know, one of my friends, who shall remain nameless, but his initials are N.M., comes out of nowhere and puts the guy on his back with a hit that would have made Bo Pelini proud. I always found it best to have friends that were bigger than me, so they could bail me out of such situations. Well, there you have it, some of the lame brain shenanigans I pulled when I was younger. Really for the most part, I was a pretty good kid. But I guess we all did things we are ashamed of. So mom, what's your story?